


In Nomine Patris

by Itherael



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Angst, Another headcanon that got out of control - a novel by me, Father-Son Relationship, Gen, We need more Donato tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-16
Updated: 2016-01-16
Packaged: 2018-05-14 09:25:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5738347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Itherael/pseuds/Itherael
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>"When he first sees the child, Donato is sure that the kid will not survive."</i>.</p>
<p>The story of how Amon came to live in Donato's orphanage.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Nomine Patris

**Author's Note:**

> ... I've nothing to say in my defense.
> 
> I blame Jona.

When he first sees the child, Donato is sure that the kid will not survive.

He’s too small, even for his age. Thin, too, and obviously sick. A runt, bound to die, either by his own weakness or by the Priest’s hunger.

Donato shows his habitual kindness when police officers come to him with orphaned children. Even they know that the CCG’s infamous Sunlit Garden could be a cruel place, especially for a child like this one.

He pities the creature, though. Just barely 4 years old and orphaned thanks to a hungry ghoul (if the state of how his parents’ bodies were found wasn’t enough evidence). He probably saw the massacre, hidden under the bed for God knows how many days.

His eyes are pretty much dead and he’s shivering, even covered with blankets.

So he smiles, putting up the kind, friendly Priest mask. It’ll be a mercy to kill the child. It’s a win-win situation for both of them.

“Would you like a glass of milk, Koutarou-kun?”

♠♠♠♠

It’s been 3 days since his new prey came to live in his orphanage, and Donato hasn’t slept at all.

The pitiful thing is burning with fever, and Donato feels ready to snap his neck. But the kid doesn’t cry, doesn’t make a sound even if it’s evident that he’s suffering.

Hell, the only noises he makes are from his labored breathing and the painful coughs, that make the Priest wince. Trauma, perhaps? It’s the first time Donato goes through this, all the other children were loud and rebellious during their first weeks in the orphanage, but Koutarou is a strange one.

The child is nothing but skin and bones, and his eyes are bright and watery, making the turquoise look more alive than days prior.

So Donato decides to ignore his own exhaustion to nurse the kid back to health.

♠♠♠♠

Time pases, and while Amon is a bit healthier than before, he still doesn’t talk.

Donato gets to know more about him through the information the police gave him, including information about his parents. The Priest doesn’t know what to do with that.

He gets to know about Koutarou’s birthday ( _oh, my, April 7th is coming soon_ ) and more about possible health problems. The kid gets sick easily, apparently.

The Priest also notices that Koutarou doesn’t eat too much. The other kids don’t bother him (Donato made sure of that), but Koutarou doesn’t eat. Well, he tries, but the food remains mostly untouched.

Ah, how is he even going to eat this kid when he’s in that state?

♠♠♠♠

Koutarou likes sweets.

Donato discovers it by accident, but he can’t help but tease the kid. Sure, he bought that box of donuts to share it with the kids, but the second he left the box unnoticed, Koutarou had somehow managed to snatch 3 of them, and now his face was covered in glazé and chocolate sprinkles.

Donato laughs, and Koutarou looks so embarrassed.

“I’m sorry”

If it wasn’t because of his enhanced senses, Donato wouldn’t have heard the small voice. It’s surprisingly sweet, even if rough by disuse, but he likes Koutarou’s voice.

“It’s okay, child” Donato kneels and puts his hand in top of Koutarou’s head. “Just promise me that you’ll wait next time”

Koutarou smiles and nods.

(It’s was the first time Koutarou smiled, Donato remembers years later. Donato wonders… perhaps that smile made the difference)

♠♠♠♠

Koutarou doesn’t talk much, though. But he smiles, a lot.

Donato notices that there’s only one way to make him talk: sweets. Cakes, cookies, donuts… anything remotely sweet makes him talk. So Donato makes little agreements with the child.

“If you eat all your food, I’ll give you this piece of cake”

“Can you please ask Yuu-kun if he finished his chores? I’ll give you a candy if you do it”

Another thing he realizes is that Amon prays. When no one is looking or everyone is asleep, Amon mutters prayers under his breath, asking or thanking the Lord. Donato decides to teach him the prayers in latin.

“God will hear you better”

Koutarou is extremely intelligent, so he learns the prayers in record time. Donato doesn’t want to admit it, but he’s proud.

“Koutarou-kun, would you like to learn my mother tongue? I think you’ll like russian”

And of course Koutarou accepts.

♠♠♠♠

It feels like they’re conspiring whenever they talk in his mother tongue, and even if Koutarou is just learning it, he understands everything Donato says.

This time, Donato admits out loud how proud is he of Koutarou.

♠♠♠♠

_I’m getting too attached to this child._

It’s been a little over 2 years since Koutarou started to live in the orphanage, but Donato doesn’t see him as prey anymore. And he hates it.

Koutarou is still small and he still gets sick too often (something that gave Donato too many heart attacks, _I’m too old for this_ ), but he talks more and plays more.

He’s finally acting more like a child, and not like a walking corpse.

“Papa, where can I leave this?” Donato can feel his heart stop for a second.

Koutarou looks at him so innocently, not noticing his mistake ( _or was it even a mistake?_ ). No one, absolutely no one in the orphanage calls him “Papa”, everyone calls him “Father”, because he's nothing but that, the Priest that takes care of them.

“Papa?”

No, it’s not a mistake. Koutarou is calling him…

“Papa, are you okay?”

_… Oh, God, is this my punishment?…_

“Everything is fine, my child, everything is fine”

♠♠♠♠

“Koutarou-kun, do you remember your parents?”

His child ( _his child, when did Koutarou started to be his child?_ ) stops playing with the cross in his necklace, and he looks to be deep in thought.

“No, should I, Papa?” _Ah, bless his innocence_. Donato is thankful that Koutarou doesn’t remember any of it.

“No, child, it’s fine if you don’t remember them”

♠♠♠♠

Koutarou is still small compared to the other children of his age.

It frustrates Koutarou to no end, but Donato still laughs.

“It’s not funny, Papa!”

_Oh, it is, my child… you’ve no idea how funny it is…_

♠♠♠♠

He should have known. Everything comes to an end, no matter how much you wish against it.

Amon is taller and healthier, and now he knows how to sneak around.

_Eh… I forgot to lock the door._

The look in Koutarou’s face is one of pure terror, and Donato fears that this will unlock those painful memories. Koutarou walks towards him, trembling, looking like he’s going to fall at any moment.

“Koutarou… who said “you can enter”?”

♠♠♠♠

Koutarou refuses to join him.

When the CCG comes for him, Donato lets them take him into Cochlea.

♠♠♠♠

It takes years, but he sees Koutarou once again.

Long lost is the small child, the one who followed him everywhere calling him “Papa”. Lost is the scared child that he met so many years ago. Lost is the sick child that tried to push himself out of the bed just so he could help him.

No, this boy ( _no, a man_ ) no longer holds any similarity with that child. He’s tall and built like a brick, with his eyes full of determination and resentment towards the ghoul in the other side of the glass.

But Donato doesn’t see the investigator, he still sees his child, not by blood, but the child of his heart.

“Look at you, Koutarou, you have grown so much…”

♠♠♠♠

“You should follow Alice instead”

How much Donato was going to regret those words…

♠♠♠♠

The night of the Anteiku raid, Donato prays.

He does it every time there’s a huge raid, he prays for his son’s safety. But this time, it feels different.

Donato prays with fervor (remember a small child kneeling next to him, trying to pronounce the words the right way), with an irrational fear gripping his heart tightly.

_Why are you so afraid, fool? Koutarou is strong, he’ll survive this._

♠♠♠♠

The blond girl that came with Koutarou only a few weeks ago gives him the news.

Donato’s entire world crumbles before his eyes.

♠♠♠♠

It’s the first time that the Priest loses control. His entire cell is destroyed, and everyone remembers why he’s a SS rated ghoul.

♠♠♠♠

There are… rumors.

Rumors about a ghoul that eats other ghouls. Rumors about a hooded figure hunting down the Aogiri.

Donato feels the hope spark again in his heart.

_Koutarou, you little…_

♠♠♠♠

His child might be lost, but he’s still alive.

And Donato prays, once again. Prays for his safety every night.

♠♠♠♠

“He’ll become one of the keys to unlock the door to your memories, his name is…”

_And you’ll be the key to help him to accept himself. Please, take care of my child, because I can’t do it from here._

_God, please, hear my pray._

**Author's Note:**

> I truly believe that Donato loves Amon like a son. It's a twisted and complex relationship, but I think that they need more attention.
> 
> [ironhuntress](ironhuntress.tumblr.com) @ tumblr


End file.
